27 Days upon Fremont
Waking up everyday away from home gets slightly easier on this internship. I haven’t had the privilege of having an internship on my Freshman year, so all of this is a new process for me. You can watch videos, read answers on Quora and even ask for advice for where to go- but I don’t think any of those resources although well intentioned prepares you for this. Living on my own, the mental difficulties that ensue, and getting accustomed to a new occupation is enough first-world difficulty for any young adult to bear. When I say slightly, there still is the trepidation when it comes to asking your manager questions you know that are simple but for some reason haven’t grokked. There is still the sense of loneliness that comes with being in an area with no friends around, and even harder when it takes quite a bit out of you to make the first move to start making some friends.
There are some moments where you can pull useful lessons from the past to help your living situation become slightly better. How to console yourself when it is just you, staying in shape and making sure that you don’t break the production environment. In terms of the winded path I have taken in my technological career, I am glad for the detours and awkward paths I have been through. Part of me always felt I was the person never meant for the job but ended up showing up anyway. That feeling still permeates my consciousness, however applies with my whole history in tech. I was just willing to be there and learn even if it meant I knew next to nothing. I am still unsure if this is a positive or a negative.
I have always been working, and it isn’t a badge of honor. Maybe it should, unlike most delusional entrepreneurs, I don’t glorify hustle and suffering. There is nothing intelligent about chewing through material and reading self-help books to bring close to no value professionally to the world. Working smart and being able to have the energy to solve more complex problems is a more respectable occupation. I have always resented that I had to, I have seen other folks not have to. It not an aversion to work but the unfortunate necessity. This preface to my career just felt unnecessary with oddities abound. And maybe in time I will grow to enjoy that past along with many painful lessons but I find that scant in my youth.
On my flight on Saturday, I peered through the aircraft’s window and the evergreen mountains of the Cascadia region lay before me. I just recall how astounding that sight was. That pain from my history dulled. How privileged I was to be given an opportunity to be here and how I have to use that to make sure more people who feel like they have a home in tech, find that home. On the first day walking under the bridge of the 99 onto the trail leading to Ballard from Fremont was like no other. Contrast to the surroundings I knew it was going to be an uphill battle growing as a person.
Around 27 days have passed since I have first witnessed that sight into this temporary home, and I am on the cusp of having my pull request accepted. My first few cards in the done section of the board, more tasks about to be assigned. Getting there took resolve, but just for one pull request. Joe Armstrong helps us define programs as “something that transforms inputs to outputs”. I will point out two out of many additional constraints in his initial definition, “The output of the program is beautiful” & “The input to the program is beautiful.”
We budding software engineers (and as humans) differ slightly, the hope is that despite less than beautiful input we can have as beautiful as humanly possible output. For me, that is one pull request.
I await to see my own output; many more pull requests and many more uncountable accomplishments big and small alike.